purpleparadox: (Escaflowne: down)
Maybe it's me being sick, maybe it's because I had a rough day which ended with a student weeping because he had 20 minutes of time out during recess, or maybe it's the depression talking, but I'm seriously wondering if I'm cut out to be a teacher.

Oh, I handled weepy kid pretty well- sure, he kept crying, but I didn't lose it, and that's the important thing, I guess.

But I'm one of the least organized people on the planet. I'm also pretty awkward around kids. I'm irresponsible. I would love nothing better than to just curl up in bed and sleep until 8, read a book all day, and have that be my day.

I had the first of four "triad" meetings, where I sit down with my supervisor and my mentor teacher and we talk about "how I'm doing", and rate things on a 0-3 scale, 0 being "needs work" and 3 being the level of a master teacher.

Well, apparently I'm a master teacher when it comes to dressing myself professionally. Other than that, I'm no better than a student fresh out of their 100 hour observation period. I've been at this for four weeks, and teaching for half the day for two. And my mentor teacher and my supervisor said I've come a long way from where I was when I started, which leads me to believe I was an absolute wreck when I came in. A well dressed wreck, but a wreck nonetheless.

I have maturity issues. I need to learn to shut up when others are talking. I need to be less "calm and soothing" when in front of the class. I need to be more of a disciplinarian. I need to plan better. I need to be more aware of what every student in the class is doing. I need to vary my lessons more. I need to do this that and the other thing. I need to be someone entirely different.

I think I just wasted a lot of money on an education that may end up getting no use at all.


Aug. 19th, 2009 02:39 am
purpleparadox: (Escaflowne: Victory!)
Today I get to go learn how to be a good student teacher. :D I've got my outfit all picked out, some fancy new shoes to wear (with high heels, too!), and all my important teaching stuff is all packed. I almost feel like a teacher already!

I will admit, I am a little scared, but oh well. I'll deal with it the same way I dealt with coming to grad school in the first place last fall- one step at a time, and remembering that everyone else is in the same spot I'm in- new at this and nervous.
purpleparadox: (Escaflowne: wonder)

Anyway, here I am, procrastinating on getting ready for my last day of work. At least until school starts again, anyway, and I work at the computer labs again, keeping an eye on all those wily computers. I'll tell you one thing that's definitely for sure- I felt so out of my element at Financial Aid. I mean, yeah, I've worked jobs that weren't CTS-related during my time in college, but most of the time I was hip deep in computers, either hauling them around or fixing them or showing people how to use them, and I loved it. (Heck, there's even a picture on here somewhere of me being attacked by a mass of wild tangled computer mice!) I enjoyed working at Financial Aid, to a point - I got to meet lots of people, I got to see lots of people I know (and got a lot of confused looks from them and comments like "Hey, aren't you supposed to be working in the computer labs? Hey, are you going back to the Learning Lab job in the fall? We miss you!") and learned more than I ever needed to know about how financial aid works. (If I hadn't learned about the budget adjustments for computers, I'd be typing this out on Snowball!) I just felt so confused almost all the time I was there. I was working with people's financial aid packages, and that made me very nervous. (And working with people's kids doesn't make you nervous, Beth?)

I'm very excited for student teaching. I just have to try and get the butterfly unit done before school starts, so Mrs. Burnett can look it over - I'm going to try to make each lesson work so that if I have to shuffle the lessons around in a different order, it'll work.

I'm going to try to make a post in here every day this semester, starting today. (Since, technically, my semester starts tomorrow!) I've been neglecting DW and all my DW friends, and I'm going to try to get out there a little more. I think writing in here will especially help if/when my seasonal depression comes back. (Apparently Callie's mom's SAD came back early, and she's a wreck. With the weather like it's been lately, it's no wonder. And that might explain why I've been a bit of a mess lately, too.)

Not awake.

May. 5th, 2009 07:01 am
purpleparadox: (oh my god sparkle!)
Yesterday was very tiring, and the week is just going to get worse. I have so much to do and so little time to do it in. And I do have the time to go lay down and get another hour of sleep, thanks to not having to drag my ass to Curves by 7 am anymore, but I don't know if that's what I really want to do. Maybe I'll work on gradually waking up.

Allegedly it's supposed to rain today. I don't buy it. The sky is blue, even if it is a little cloudy. It's going to be another beautiful sunny day, and I'll be stuck in the office.

Must go pester Financial Aid today about that job.

I need to learn not to dump everything in front of the closet. I just spent most of Sunday cleaning the last heap up, and now there's another pile. Ugh. I'm trying not to let the wreck that is the rest of the house not creep through and infect the clean places.

Oh, I got the test results from my first teacher certification exam, the LAST. If the damn thing wasn't so long, I would have aced the whole thing. I got a 279, and the highest is 300. The minimum passing score is 220. They showed the score breakdown, and I got a perfect score in the first three sections (even math/science/technology! And they're all my worst subjects!), a 276 in communications and research, and a 220 on the stupid essay they tacked onto the end of a very long test. Bryan did well on his too - he got a 271 on the LAST and I can't remember what on the Social Studies CST, just that it was passing.

Brr. I'm freezing. Maybe I should go get dressed, and try to tame my hair into something that doesn't resemble a horrible case of bedhead.

EDIT: I edited this entry solely so I could use this Minako icon. It amuses me to no end.
purpleparadox: (Default)
Work at Curves this morning was quiet and short. Only four people came in while I was there, and then I chatted with Deb about the lovely changes in hours for Brittany and I. (Deb is Brittany's mom in law.) She's not happy at all with what the manager did with the hours. The owner decided to close every day between 1 and 3, and so since that cuts out a few of the manager's shifts, she took one of Brittany's shifts for herself and gave another of Brittany's shifts to Abbie, leaving poor Brittany with only 4 hours a week. Sarah, my Learning Lab boss, says I should just quit Curves. I sent an email to the Office of Field Experiences here on campus (one of our Curves members is one of the higher-ups in that office, and mentioned they might be looking for a student worker for the summer), so hopefully I can get a job there for the summer. It's all student teaching related, so I'll probably be a pro. :P

Speaking of school, I registered for summer classes. This is the first time I've ever taken summer classes! I'm taking Diversity and Advocacy in Education (online), and Integrating the Arts in the Elementary Classroom. I know both of the professors (I've done a lot of work for Dr. Conrad through the ITC when I was there, and Dr. Chadwick is my advisor and is pure awesomeness), and the classes look like they'll be a good use of my summer. I'll also be unofficially taking Social Studies Content and Methods (well, more like finishing an incomplete, but I missed so much from being sick that it's like taking the class for the first time). That, plus work and driving lessons, will keep me busy this summer. I don't mind, though- I'll still enjoy myself. I'm also all registered for Student Teaching in the fall, and hopefully soon I'll find out exactly where I'll be student teaching.

All in all, today's been a very good day so far. :)
purpleparadox: (Default)
Yeah, that's pretty much all I've been doing at work today.  Cranking out lesson plans and wishing I could go outside and enjoy the warm weather.  Although, to be honest, I'd probably just be sitting in front of a computer whether I was inside or outside.  Ah, the glory of laptops.

But yeah, I'm trying to get my lesson plans for Lit 2 finished up so I don't have to take an incomplete in the class if I can help it.  Bleh.  Being sick with the flu and pneumonia last month was the worst thing that's happened to my graduate school career.  I'm still scrambled up from missing so many classes, and from being too sick to choke down any of my pills besides the antibiotics.  My throat was so sore that I couldn't handle my Singulair or my Wellbutrin.  (Which, in turn, screwed up my breathing and my moods!)  I'm back on track again, though, and I want to do well, so I can spend my summer slacking off and watching anime.  

Ahh, I am so glad I picked a profession that will give me summers off.  XD  


purpleparadox: (Default)
The Purple Paradox

February 2011

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