purpleparadox: (Crazy in the Coconut!)
Why do I feel guilty for just wanting some time to myself? I've been constantly on the go, all damn semester long, and I just want some down time. It's the first weekend I've had since August where I haven't had some sort of commitment to worry about. Is it so wrong that I just want to sit in front of my computer, surf the internet, and listen to music like I haven't really been able to do all semester?

I mean, yeah, I did get some chances to do that, but they were in the ICT office, surrounded by computer bits, in an uncomfortable desk chair, and with people constantly coming in and out and in and out of my office. But aside from that, and the hour or so I was able to snatch each morning and evening after waking up/before going to bed, I haven't had time to do my sort of relaxing in a very long time.

Why do I feel guilty about this?

We just sat and watched TV together for two hours, and ate dinner, and it was nice, but now that I want to use the computer again, I feel guilty because he's on his side of the room, sad because we're not next to each other, paying attention to each other, and so on.

I want to hide, and just come out tomorrow when I feel better again.
purpleparadox: (Default)
I'm going a little NaNoWriMo crazy this year, even moreso than in years past. I think I may have found my winner.

(Ugh, you say that every year. You never win. You've only gotten halfway once.)

I've got a cover made up, too. It's a vectorized version of an old drawing I did of the main character of the story, back when she was just an RP character.


A Month In The Life
by ~baranotenshi on deviantART


:D
purpleparadox: (Hiding)
I don't know if anyone else does this, but I've noticed I listen to different music during the spring and summer than I do in the fall and winter. Maybe I'm the only one who does this. I dunno. But I don't mind.

During the spring and summer, I tend to listen to really upbeat stuff. Electric Light Orchestra, Daft Punk, Justice, lots of classic rock, even some pop music. I don't usually listen to the radio often, but during the summer sometimes a pop song will get itself stuck in my head and it won't leave. Summer is when the really eclectic stuff in my playlist comes out to play. Pop, dance music, classic rock, anime soundtrack songs... yeah. The random stuff comes out and annoys Bryan a lot, haha.

In the fall and winter, the other stuff comes out. Tori Amos, Ayreon, Goldfrapp, Parov Stelar, Mono, Bitter:Sweet, and Ladytron. I tend to go through phases when I listen to only one album over and over again. A few years ago, all I listened to all winter long was Tori. Winter 08'/'09, I listened to Ayreon's Into the Electric Castle from the start of the first snow until the ice started to melt, five straight months. I tend to listen to more depressing stuff, more serious stuff. Maybe it's because of the seasonal depression, maybe it's just because it fits the season better.

It's strange how eclectic and random my summer musical tastes are in comparison to my fall and winter ones. In summer, I might listen to one song on repeat for an hour and then go peruse my playlist, while in winter I'll listen to one album straight through, then another, then another, and then listen to a specific album for a week straight.

I wonder what that says about me. Does it make me two completely different people, at least musically? If you listed all these tastes separately, the summer and the winter, it would look like it was two different people's music tastes.

Then again, essentially I am two different people. During the summer, I'm enthusiastic, exuberant, almost manic. I want to be out there in the sun, I want to run around until I'm exhausted and it's dark out and the dew is falling. I want to go swimming, I want to go wander through downtown Lake George, I want to bike in the woods and I want to look at the beautiful green trees. I run around in tanktops and shorts and get tan lines on my feet from my sandals. When the leaves fall, though, I become introspective, introverted, and quiet. I keep to myself. I hide behind my computer screen, my glasses, my headphones and my homework. I camouflage myself under big thick sweaters and silly headbands. I cry a lot, and wish the sun would come back. I live off of coffee and junk food and the Internet.

Maybe I am two different people. The me during the summer is who I truly feel I am, and the winter person is someone who takes over when the snow comes and the sun goes away, when I hide and wait for the warmth to come.
purpleparadox: (@_@)
[personal profile] delphi sums it up here as to why I'm glad I jumped ship on LJ. Dreamwidth hasn't thrown me for any loops for the year I've been here, or made me headdesk because they've done something ridiculous. I'm happy to be here, especially with all the friends I've made here that I probably wouldn't have made otherwise. I hope whoever makes it here from LJ enjoys themselves, and feels welcome here.

In other words, I now have three jobs, and Bryan has five. Granted, one of them is dinky, and one of them neither of us is getting paid for, but we have access to about a million video games and all sorts of computery bits. Our office is a wreck, but an awesome wreck. I'll have to post a picture of it at some point. There's even an arcade unit maybe 30 feet away from my office. This place rocks.

But yeah, either I will be dead at the end of the semester, or I will be SUPERWOMAN OMG.

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The Purple Paradox

February 2011

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