purpleparadox: (Default)
Yeah, it's rare to have such awesome, fun dreams - I'm usually stuck with the weird or creepy ones, but last night's was awesome.

It started out with going to an amusement park, and testing out this new ride that was supposed to be bumper-cars-esque, but it was held inside a giant sphere, and everyone was put in teams of two and strapped into these big bubble-like things, and depending on which way you leaned it'd send the ball spinning in one direction or another. Apparently I was paired up with Violet, a girl who's been in a few classes with me, and we were doing awesomely as a team making this thing go crazy - it felt like a tilt-a-whirl on crack, haha. It was so amazing! Anyway, after doing that, everyone who was there (apparently we were on a grad school trip?) went back to the hotel, and I realized I'd forgotten something somewhere, and next thing I know I'm at my mother's, and there's a ton of snow on the ground. So, I climb up to the top of the fence that separates the driveway from the back yard, and see the snow is at least seven feet high... and I take a swan-dive into a snowdrift. XD And I swam along in the poofy snow! So awesome.

And then I woke up. XD
purpleparadox: (Em in the desert)
So, I had a strange and mildly upsetting dream last night.

I dreamed that I was Em (from my NaNo novel, see my usericon) and that I was working with some cops to try and find a criminal (Em's a security guard) and I'd gotten shot in the chest, just above my right breast. I was bleeding, and somehow Em's (my?) mother showed up at the scene and told the paramedics to just let me die, that I was worthless and I didn't deserve to live. And the blood is draining out of me, and I'm losing consciousness, when somebody - a coworker, Nina, who knows - says "You have to save her!" And then I'm whisked off to the hospital, someone pulls the bullet out of my chest, and I'm bandaged up.

It's the first time I've dreamed about death like that, and it was strange that I was Em in the dream. Granted, I find myself thinking like her a lot. I'll be acting a certain way, and say to myself, "I'm having an Em moment." It was so strange to dream that I was her.

Next time I dream I'm Em, I want Trout to show up. And I want him to look like TJ Thyne, who plays Jack Hodgins on Bones.
purpleparadox: (Default)
Luzerne again tomorrow. YES. Two weekends out of this town? YESSS. Four day weekend? I COULD DIE OMG

So, Bryan started his new job yesterday - working as a wine seller for the Thousand Islands winery. I told him to buy me a bottle of North Country Red - he gets a 30% discount. It really makes no sense for me to go to the Potsdam Farmers Market, go to the wine booth, and give Bryan money that's technically already his, haha. Only thing that sucks about it (for both of us) is that he gets home from one farmers market at 10 pm (it's a late one that's two hours away), and then has to leave for the next one at 4:30 am! I saw him for maybe an hour last night before I fell asleep, and he left before I rolled out of bed at 6. Oh well, he can have a nice big nap when he gets home!

I had two strange dreams last night. I guess sleep deprivation does that do you. Anyway, the first dream was that apparently I'd had a baby. (For those of you who don't know me too well, I am absolutely terrified of childbirth and what it will do to my body - I already have issues with my body, I don't need more. I also don't think I'd be a very fit mother - I'm a great babysitter, but then, I don't have to be the parent and it's only for a few hours.) Bryan and I were trying to figure out how to take care of it. It had curly red hair, which could entirely happen, because Bryan's part Irish. It was a cute baby, I guess, but still. Yeeep. I commend all you mothers out there who have had children, and hope you don't hate me too much because I don't want kids of my own. (Maybe when I'm a little more stable I'll be a foster parent!) But anyway, back to the dream. Bryan actually tried to breastfeed the baby. XD I looked and him and said "No, you're doin' it wrong," and took the baby and fed her myself. That's the last part I remember.

Dream number two was infinitely less scary. Mom got me a HUGE Keurig coffee maker, a red one to match my tiny one! Apparently Bry, Ruthie, and I were all at Mom's, and Ruthie thought Mom got it for both of us. We both tore into the box and started reading the instruction manual, which was really complicated, and Ruthie's planning what coffees we'll make. I tell Bryan we can give my little Keurig to his dad, and he said "Let's not worry about that now." Then Mom comes in and tells Ruthie that the coffee maker is just for me, and she runs off crying. Oh lordy.

Wedding planning is going along well. My co-worker, Brittany, brought me some Precious Moments stuff she used for her wedding! Which is nice, since it matches our wedding invitations. If Bryan's parents were going to be up north for the weekend, I'd bring it all with me so Kathy could see. She'd love it! Brittany gave me a few helium balloons, a cake topper, a little banner, and a whole bunch of bubble stuff bottles. She also gave me a set of the napkins she used - they had cute little Precious Moments designs on them. :D I am amazed at how well this wedding is going, and how little we're having to spend on it. So far, all Bryan and I have spent on it is $90 for my dress. The ceremony site is free, I think the Mayor will marry us for free, Bry's parents are paying for the reception, we're getting inexpensive rings with the promise that someday we'll upgrade them, and Bryan's wearing his suit for the wedding. And getting him to wear a purple shirt and tie to match the wedding color will be no problem at all, because he has a million purple shirts and at least three purple ties. XD I think that's why we picked it. In fact, when I was suggesting wedding colors to him, I even said "Purple like your shirts!" XD I think this weekend will be spent cranking out wedding ideas and stuff. I'm half tempted to bring my printer with me so I can actually get some stuff printed out. We'll see.

Anyhow, I should get on with my morning internet browsing, since I have to get ready for work eventually. I'll see if I can bring my laptop and leech wireless from someplace, otherwise I'll try and post on my phone. :D
purpleparadox: (Whaaaat?)
I had some screwed up dreams last night/this morning.

One of which was the usual one my deep subconscious throws at me every month: "oh hay you're on your period, I'm going to make you dream of being pregnant since i know you hate it so much!" Gnaaaarrr. I am deeply afraid of being pregnant. I'm very iffy about bodily functions and I'm never very comfortable in my own body - I can't bear having something grow in me and throw everything I know about myself out the window. (Hell, I'm squicked out about the fact that I'm full of blood and bodily organs. I like to think that I'm filled with Poly-Fil stuffing. And that all my organs are little stuffed representations of the real thing. Scares me a lot less.)

Dream two was just... weird. I was helping Mom clean again, and Ruthie was helping, and we were taking care of some birds. Apparently Ruthie decided that one of the birds wanted to learn how to swim, and I found it trying to keep its head above water in the fish tank. I freaked, pulled it out and dried it off, and then tried to find the cage it belonged in. At one point, while I was trying to find its cage, the bird decided it wanted to cling to me. Like, wrap its wings around my face and cuddle. Okay then! I found its cage eventually, and put it in, and that was that. Then, the scene switches to me being in the back of a car, and there's a bunch of junk in there, and there's a bird cage with two birds in it and some broken eggs. As I watch, one of the birds lays a disgusting looking egg, and I turn away in the dream, but now I can't get that image out of my head. Birds laying rotten eggs. That has to mean something, right? I mean, dreaming of losing teeth means getting money (oddly, the more teeth I lose, the less money I get, but still), dreaming of birds laying rotten eggs must have some strange meaning.

ANYWAY. Today's the last day I'm babysitting for the week, I am happy for this. Means I can go clean out my fish tank, FINALLY. And get some dirt set up in the bottom of it, and the stones too. I'm hoping the pet store has some female bettas or some good looking neon tetras to put in the big tank along with Miss Artemis. Lately she's been swimming around the big plant I dumped in her tank- I think she likes it. I'm amazed it was still alive in Mom's tank- I wonder how long it's just been sitting and growing there.

8 days to my birthday. Bryan said he'd take me out to dinner! I'm going to wear my piano dress, and my fancy headband, and maybe my new white heels.


Jan. 14th, 2010 11:24 am
purpleparadox: (Sparkle!)
I had two dreams last night, both of them pretty good. One starred [personal profile] rin, another starred Morgan. (Sorry, Bry, I don't think you were in them.)

Dream One: In the first dream, Rin and I got married! :D At the circus, I think. o_O It was... interesting. And pleasant. And I think that because I married Rin, I also ended up married to Panzer, too. (Since you can't has a Rin without a Panzer and all.)

Dream Two: I guess Morgan wasn't really actually present in this dream. I was in an attic somewhere, looking through a collection of books I had when I was a kid, and I found one that I remember had writing in it from someone who owned it before. Apparently it was Morgan's, when he was a kid, and all the writing and drawings in it were his. I remember saying, "This explains everything! I knew Morgan before I even met him!" I don't know what the everything it was explaining was, but eh. Who knows.

Today, I'm going to mail my Paperback Swap books out, and work on another pillow (maybe I'll finish the Doctor today), and work on my French. And read "The 48 Laws of Power". It's a very, very interesting book, and I'm only two chapters in so far. I like how it uses historical examples to get its point across.

Oh, and trying to tag entries on the iPod? IMPOSSIBLE. It's so annoying. I gave up trying to tag last night's entry.
purpleparadox: (DW: Doctor is In)
So, last night I dreamed something that ran like a Doctor Who episode!

cut for those who aren't really interested )
purpleparadox: (om nom nom)
Nature Valley Maple and Brown Sugar granola bars are the BEST THING EVAR.

Now, time to jump in the shower, clean up quickly, and get ready for the day. I love this whole "more time in the morning" thing, since I don't have to rush my butt over to Curves to open at 7 am.

Speaking of Curves, I had a dream they closed. I went in to pick up my last paycheck (which I will be amazed if they actually mail me), and all the machines were gone and the owner posted a note saying that Curves was closed because everybody quit. XD
purpleparadox: (heartbreak)
i don't know why this is affecting me so much. i just had a dream about my best friend justin (formerly ex boyfriend, but since we've known each other so long the ex part got dropped). i dreamed someone made a movie out of us, out of how depressed we were back when we were dating. and i'm watching this movie, watching us cuddle, and dream me is "oh god these characters are spot on! that guy really acts and sounds like justin! that girl looks like me! and that looks exactly like justin's house!" while the me in the backrground is realizing i never got over him. even though i treated him like shit. anyway, the dream goes on, and turns out i'm at my mom's, and i call justin to come see this movie, and he apparently pulls up the same time my dad walks up the driveway, and that's just before i woke up, when the dream started to lose it- apparently a dog (not mom's, one of the ones i petsit for) had gotten out the gate and dad wouldn't come in until kaya was in. anyway, i think i saw justin for a split second before i woke up.

why am i crying right now? how the hell did this affect me so much?

i think he's in NY, i know he said he was coming over mid april and leaving this weekend for iowa for the last time. i hope he comes to see me like he usually does when he leaves. i miss him. i don't know why i miss what we had- i treated him like shit, and i still feel bad for it, almost six years later. i wish i'd kept my head on straight, and treated him right, yanno? maybe that's why i'm crying.

i dunno. i just hope i get to see him. i hope he doesn't mind that i texted him at 3:30 am.

i'm gonna go back to sleep and replay that dream in my head until i fall asleep again, which may not happen, i fell asleep at 9 last night. ugh.


purpleparadox: (Default)
The Purple Paradox

February 2011

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