purpleparadox: (Escaflowne: eeeehhh...)
I'm going to omit a lot of this to spare any of the NaBloWriMo readers out there, but to make a long story short, Bryan's bad attitude has ended up with him not being able to move in to Tara and Josh's house. I'm more than welcome over there, but his attitude towards them, and how he treats me, has made Josh decide that he just doesn't want to put up with Bryan.

Which is understandable.

Also, I've only cranked out 600 words for my novel today (I was going to shoot for another 3,000, and who knows, I could make it, but only with coffee and chocolate and late night writing), I slept through the morning, I lumped around all day on the couch, and now I'm freezing and starving.

Oh lord, how I LOVE being an adult.
purpleparadox: (Default)
I feel like it's practically 2 in the afternoon, and it also feels like I've done nothing all day.

Well, the last part is somewhat true, I really haven't done much today. I made myself some lunch, and I helped Bryan gather laundry, and we went to the store together to get some food. And I wrote. A lot. I'm past where I should be for tomorrow, and my goal is to hopefully get even further ahead by tonight. Not too much has happened, novel-wise: I've done a halfway decent job of establishing who my main character is, and we've introduced the love interest! Typing up IM conversations between two characters is a great way to rack up the words. As long as I take care of myself, stay optimistic about things, and don't let myself fall in a hole like I did last year around this time, I should be just fine. I may actually win this year! If I do, I'm totally framing my little completion certificate, and using that "get your novel printed for free" goodie I get when I complete.

But yeah, the end of DST always messes me up. I feel like it's much later in the day than it really is, I haven't even bothered changing some of the clocks (we're moving in a few weeks, what does it matter? They'll be changed when we move), and night-time creeps up way too quickly for my liking. Stupid season changes and accompanying seasonal affective disorder, bleh.

I think I'm going to hunt down my USB heated gloves- my hands are chilly.

5002 / 50000 words. 10% done!


May. 30th, 2009 04:30 pm
purpleparadox: (Default)
5 more days until I get to see Bryan again. This is torture. I kinda hope he waits to get a teaching job until I at least finish student teaching. I'm having issues with three weeks - how could I last three months? I just don't function as well without him to bounce ideas off of, to snuggle with, to make sure I'm eating well, and to keep me from panicking over the stupid stuff. I mean, yeah, I'm an independent person, but there's something about his presence that just makes me feel a lot better.

I can't really believe this is happening, considering we freakin' live together, but I'm at that weird point where I doubt that he really exists. It happened two summers ago, when we hardly talked but I was so in love with him, and was miserable because he was over 400 miles away. Did he really ever kiss me, or was it just some funky hallucination? Is that telescope over in the corner his, or is it really mine? Being surrounded by his stuff is more commonplace than it was two summers ago. I had one box of his sweaters and his fi - well, now it's our filing cabinet, and some other assorted stuff. I used to rifle through it just to be surrounded by his stuff, because it was his and it smelled like him. Now all his shirts smell like the laundry detergent we both use, and his pillow smells like me instead of him. I don't even have any dirty Bryan socks laying around, because I did laundry last week. Diving into his shirt drawer won't help me anymore. It's all our stuff, not just his, not just mine. I wonder why I feel this way- I know he has to come back here. I know he's my fiance. But it feels like all that was a good dream. I need him back here. I miss him so much.

I know this is stupid, he'll be back here on Friday night and all will be right with the world. I should stop taking his presence for granted. I got so used to sitting in the bedroom, with him in the living room at the computer, that I just did my own thing, and he did his thing. We hardly spent time with each other besides when we slept. It was dumb of me to let things get like that.

Okay. I'm going to stop rambling. I should probably get off my but at some point and clean. (In all reality I'm probably going to go watch Magic Knight Rayearth, and hope for some more Ferio and Fuu scenes. <3 )
purpleparadox: (Two different people)
Yep, Bryan's left for his trip to Arizona, and I'm stuck here with a dead van, a handful of Netflix movies, and a hamper of dirty laundry.

It's funny - I wanted to go on this trip too, but I told Bryan that someone's gotta stay home and work, to pay the bills. And here I am, unemployed. Haha. Nice one, universe. I'd much rather be on my way to Arizona, to hang out with the Navajo, instead of here in freezing Potsdam. I have to take my plants inside AGAIN tonight, because of another damn frost warning.

Ah well. If the weather's nice, I can sit outside and listen to ELO, and pretend the apartment's just one big tent, and I'm 17 again, and just sticking to myself and doing what I want.

Dammit, I wish we still had cable. At least Spongebob Squarepants could keep me company.


purpleparadox: (Default)
The Purple Paradox

February 2011

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