Dec. 18th, 2010

purpleparadox: (Crazy in the Coconut!)
Why do I feel guilty for just wanting some time to myself? I've been constantly on the go, all damn semester long, and I just want some down time. It's the first weekend I've had since August where I haven't had some sort of commitment to worry about. Is it so wrong that I just want to sit in front of my computer, surf the internet, and listen to music like I haven't really been able to do all semester?

I mean, yeah, I did get some chances to do that, but they were in the ICT office, surrounded by computer bits, in an uncomfortable desk chair, and with people constantly coming in and out and in and out of my office. But aside from that, and the hour or so I was able to snatch each morning and evening after waking up/before going to bed, I haven't had time to do my sort of relaxing in a very long time.

Why do I feel guilty about this?

We just sat and watched TV together for two hours, and ate dinner, and it was nice, but now that I want to use the computer again, I feel guilty because he's on his side of the room, sad because we're not next to each other, paying attention to each other, and so on.

I want to hide, and just come out tomorrow when I feel better again.

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The Purple Paradox

February 2011

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