Apr. 29th, 2010

purpleparadox: (Whaaaat?)
I had some screwed up dreams last night/this morning.

One of which was the usual one my deep subconscious throws at me every month: "oh hay you're on your period, I'm going to make you dream of being pregnant since i know you hate it so much!" Gnaaaarrr. I am deeply afraid of being pregnant. I'm very iffy about bodily functions and I'm never very comfortable in my own body - I can't bear having something grow in me and throw everything I know about myself out the window. (Hell, I'm squicked out about the fact that I'm full of blood and bodily organs. I like to think that I'm filled with Poly-Fil stuffing. And that all my organs are little stuffed representations of the real thing. Scares me a lot less.)

Dream two was just... weird. I was helping Mom clean again, and Ruthie was helping, and we were taking care of some birds. Apparently Ruthie decided that one of the birds wanted to learn how to swim, and I found it trying to keep its head above water in the fish tank. I freaked, pulled it out and dried it off, and then tried to find the cage it belonged in. At one point, while I was trying to find its cage, the bird decided it wanted to cling to me. Like, wrap its wings around my face and cuddle. Okay then! I found its cage eventually, and put it in, and that was that. Then, the scene switches to me being in the back of a car, and there's a bunch of junk in there, and there's a bird cage with two birds in it and some broken eggs. As I watch, one of the birds lays a disgusting looking egg, and I turn away in the dream, but now I can't get that image out of my head. Birds laying rotten eggs. That has to mean something, right? I mean, dreaming of losing teeth means getting money (oddly, the more teeth I lose, the less money I get, but still), dreaming of birds laying rotten eggs must have some strange meaning.

ANYWAY. Today's the last day I'm babysitting for the week, I am happy for this. Means I can go clean out my fish tank, FINALLY. And get some dirt set up in the bottom of it, and the stones too. I'm hoping the pet store has some female bettas or some good looking neon tetras to put in the big tank along with Miss Artemis. Lately she's been swimming around the big plant I dumped in her tank- I think she likes it. I'm amazed it was still alive in Mom's tank- I wonder how long it's just been sitting and growing there.

8 days to my birthday. Bryan said he'd take me out to dinner! I'm going to wear my piano dress, and my fancy headband, and maybe my new white heels.
purpleparadox: (Default)
To do list:

- raid the neighbor's yard for dirt
- put a layer of dirt in the bottom of the fishtank like Prof. Hildreth said (Why do I feel like this is going to fail epically on me?)
- get brave and toss the stones in
- make 20 trips to the fishtank with a 1 gallon water bottle to fill the tank, then empty tank of muddynasty water
- lather, rinse, repeat until the water doesn't look like a mud puddle
- clean the apartment so I don't have to do all of the above while navigating an obstacle course of laundry, stuffed toys, and Nintendo 64 games

Guh. This may continue on until tomorrow. At least today's impromptu day off has given me the opportunity to get the tank as clean as possible. Some of those mineral deposits on the inside of the tank are probably never going to come off, but eh. They didn't kill Mom's fish, I don't think they'll kill mine.
purpleparadox: (Default)
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The Purple Paradox

February 2011

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